The Beast Within

  You see them every summer buzzing around your neighborhood.  You pay no attention to these little annoyances.  Why should you, you see them everyday and they don't harm anyone....OR DO THEY???

  Not enough scientific research has been done to classify these little creatures as human safe.  Are they mearly pesky incests, or are they actually aliens trying to steal our souls as we sleep?  I am here to tell you it is the latter.  Think about it.  Flys have been here for centuries, nobody pays any attention to them.  They are spies that fly around gathering all the information about us they can. 

  I for one am no longer going to stand by while my species is wiped out by flying bugs from outerspace.  I do not trust anything that eats poop, and then lands on my face.  I plan to wipe out as many as possible and I suggest you all do the same.  Email us and tell us your experiences with the winged phenix's from hell.  Maybe I am just crazy...or maybe I am the sanest person you know.

                                                                       Dr. Wizard

Heros / Villians Corner

  Todays feature:  Rocky Balboa.  Rocky begins his career as a poor white Italian fighter from the streets of Philadelphia (the city that boos Santa Clause and cheers injuried players).  He never really makes anyone notice who he is until he gets the shot of a lifetime.  He gets a title shot at Apollo Creed.  All of a sudden everyone wants to talk to Rocky.  His manager Mick trains him till he cant run no more.  Makes him chase chickens.  Rocky's friend Paulie ( a street thug who breaks legs) even sets him up with his sister Adrianne.  Rocky goes all 15 rounds with the champ but is unsuccessful. 

 Rocky gets a second shot at the title later on and fights possibly the greatest match in movie history.  This match has an ending that not even the WWE can top.  Rocky gets the belt becomes rich.  Learns to speak english correctly, Adrianne loses her shyness, Paulie becomes a loveable drunk (not just a leg breaker).  Rocky goes on to fight Clubber and lose his precious title.  And to make matters worse his manger dies right before the fight.  Rocky goes on gets the eye of the tiger and wins his belt back.

The Local Elections.

 This will probably not be the only article on the upcoming elections.  There are plenty of stories going around about them anywhere you look.  Here is my take on the three important election decisions.

  Bush/Kerry   Thune/Daschle  Budwiser/Miller

 The most hype and most mudd slinging has to come from Thune v Daschle.  Daschle claims that Thune is a flamming homosexual.  Thune claims that Daschle only goes out with pregnet women cause he knows they put out.  I for one have seen enough advertisements from both to make me physically ill.  Vote how you want and may the best man win.

                                                                            Tony G.